It's the people.

I always feel like blogging at inconvenient times. (Which means, I should be in bed right now.) But, I just had the most wonderful night. 

As I came to make this blog post I saw that I had up a half-written post from Saturday night that is, ironically enough, about how much I like being alone. And I still intend to finish that blog post because it's a good one, but...right now I'm grateful for people!

My roommate Sara and I invited over a few girls in our ward, plus our home teacher Josh, for a Girls + Josh night. It made today wonderful. 

Let me back track a little bit. I woke up early this morning to write a book report that I was supposed to have turned in by Saturday night. It took me a couple hours to write, and then I went right on to studying for my Marketing Management midterm, and did that for the next 4 hours until I had to be at class (my last class of the term!). After class I came home and went right to cleaning my room so it will be beautiful when my new roommate moves in tomorrow. 

I cleaned and organized until Sara got home from work at like 4:30, and at this point I was tired and grumpy, partly 'cause I don't like cleaning and studying all day, and also because I just have other things to worry me, like, you know, life and such. And so I wasn't in the best mood. But then Sara gave me some delicious apricot-somethin' juice (it was goood) which immediately started to improve my mood. Sara and I wanted to watch a movie because she had a code for a free Redbox movie that had to be used today, and our "family" didn't have FHE tonight, so we invited Sariah, Esther, Michelle and Josh to join us. And I cleaned some more until about 8:30 when they all started to show up for our partay!

Michelle brought her huge case of nail polish and glitter. Esther and Sariah brought in a box with a few pieces of cold pizza from earlier in the day. Josh brought some cute temporary tattoos. Sara got a free Redbox movie (Man On a Ledge...so good!), and I...well, I didn't bring anything. Although I did move the couches with Esther's help so that they were in a better movie-watching position. So, we pushed play on the movie and set to work! Here's my butterfly tattoo:

Michelle has some serious nail-painting/glittering skills. She did all of our nails during the movie, which made me feel a little bad 'cause she probably didn't get to pay as close of attention to the movie as she would have liked. And I'm so glad Josh could come. I think I'll invite him to every girls' night I ever have again for the rest of my life. He's a fun movie-watching friend, and didn't even care that all of us girls were painting our nails during this semi-intense awesome movie. 

Tonight was just what I needed after a heavy and tiresome day. Life is about friends. Being with people makes me happy. Happy people make me happy! Doing things with and for other people makes me happy. Having a roommate and a visiting teacher and a visiting teachee and a visiting teaching companion and a home teacher (yes, our little circle of teaching doesn't branch very far) all at the same movie night made me happy.

When the movie was over and we were getting ready to disband, Josh saw my leopard slippers in the corner of the room that I put there earlier today in preparation to give away at our ward clothing exchange tomorrow night. He wanted them, and I wanted to get rid of them. We needed a picture of our feet from tonight:

Didn't Michelle do an awesome job making our toenails sparkly? And I'm glad Josh was so excited about those slippers. I was worried I wouldn't be able to find a new home for them.

I just remembered that I left everyone with a parting gift of fruity candy canes. I found them today while I was cleaning my room. I bought a couple boxes of them back in January or February because they were on sale for like 10¢ a box. 

So I guess I contributed something to this wonderful night, after all.

The Parable of the Song

I learned about two parables in church today. The first was the parable of the laborers in the vineyard, found in Chapter 20 of St. Matthew. This is a parable that teaches us to be happy for others to come unto Christ, to accept the Atonement for others and to not think it unfair when someone receives the same wages from Christ as we do when, from the outside, they may not seem as "worthy" as us. Essentially, none of us are worthy of the mercy of Christ, and it's a great, unfathomable gift to all of us, no matter how long or how short we've been following Christ. In this parable Christ teaches that the man in charge of the vineyard hired laborers at the beginning of the day and they agreed upon a wage. Throughout the day he hired more workers, and they all agreed to work for him. Nearing the end of the day there were still others who were waiting to be hired, and the man gave them work as well, promising that "whatsoever is right, that shall [they] receive," for their wages. And when the work was done, each laborer received the same wage, a penny for their work (which was a good amount in that time)! Those who had worked all day and those who had just been hired for the last hour or so of work. The ones who had worked all day complained that they were all paid the same, even though they'd agreed to their penny when they took on the work.

This parable is all about the Atonement. Some people take advantage of Christ's great gift for them earlier in their lives, while others take longer to realize the power their Savior has. We shouldn't be jealous of others' wages. We are all unworthy to receive the wages we receive, yet they are offered freely to us anyway. All we must do is humble ourselves and follow Christ and allow His Atonement to change our lives.

I was taught another parable today. One that's not found in the Bible. Today my lovely roommate Sara and I, and a friend of ours named Amberly, performed "Abide With Me, 'Tis Eventide" in church. Sara sang, Amberly played the piano, and I played the oboe. It was beautiful. I get really nervous when I perform for others. Especially when I play the oboe, because if you don't know this, good oboe playing is pretty dependent on how good of an oboe reed you have, and I don't always have the best of luck in that area. Anyway, when I get nervous my throat goes dry, my hands first get sweaty while I'm waiting to perform, and then they start to shake (as do my legs usually) while I'm performing, which is kind of a deadly combination for playing the oboe. Anyway, I got up and was able to keep my nerves in check. However, in the middle of the song my brain stopped working (also one of my nervousness side effects) and I played a D-flat instead of the E-flat I was supposed to play. I was able to get back on and didn't mess up for the rest of the song, but it was still a nasty sound for that split second. And once the D-flat was out, there was no taking it back. Like I said, it didn't really mess me up too badly and I was able to play well for the rest of the song, but after I sat down, of course, my mind kept going back to that one mistake I made, hoping that people hadn't really noticed it or that at least it wasn't too distracting (which, it was nasty enough that I'm sure everyone did notice, except for maybe the people who were sleeping). And as I was thinking about it, hoping that the rest of my playing was enough to redeem that mistake in the eyes (or ears) or my listeners, I had this reassuring message come into my head (the Parable of the Song, if you will):

Our lives are a beautiful song. God hears the whole thing. I've been hung up recently on something in my life, and for each person there's a different "thing" to worry about: it may be a low point in life filled with depression, or guilt for a sin that you just can't get over, feelings of regret, feelings of envy or hatred or "why me?" because something unfair happened. I've been focusing on those couple of sour notes in the song of my life. But is my whole entire song ruined because of that? The music leading up to the mistakes in the song I played today was beautiful; sure, it wasn't perfect and there were a couple shaky parts due to nerves, but it was still beautiful. The music I played after I messed up was beautiful, and I even got the tricky ending that I've had troubles with as I was practicing. Really, it was great. Would the people listening to me judge the whole entire song as awful because I messed up two little notes in the middle of the song? Hopefully not. Hopefully they noticed the beauty in the rest of it and were able to overlook my mistakes. (And plus, Amberly and Sara were wonderful enough to more than doubly make up for me.)

The parable of the laborers found in Matthew is about accepting the Atonement for others and getting over envy. The parable of the song is about accepting the Atonement for myself. God won't judge my whole life as one big awful mistake because of the small or not-so-small mistakes I make throughout my life. If I use the Atonement and accept His gift, those things are taken away. My life is beautiful. It's a beautiful song. It's an oboe obligato with a few missed notes and a few shaky moments, but it's wonderful and I'm learning and growing and getting stronger. It's difficult to not dwell on mistakes or trials and unfair moments. It's hard to know if those things have really been made up for through the Atonement of Christ. Sometimes it's hard to trust. It would be really easy for me to look back at our musical number today and despair and think, "Oh no! I ruined the whole thing! It was going to be so good and I practiced so hard and then I blew it!" But that would be so unfair to myself, and untruthful. Two bad notes doesn't make the whole song bad. Poor choices or unfair circumstances doesn't make a whole life ruined.

This wonderful moment I had during church today, this tender mercy, helped me know that God loves me. He's accepted my song that I have to offer for Him. He knows I've made mistakes and that I'll likely make more, but He also knows where my desires lie. He hears the beautiful parts of my song, and He knows they are good and He lets me know through moments like this that He loves me, oh so much! And He offers me the gift of His Son, even though I may not deserve it. He offers it to me and He offers it to you. Take it! Use it!

We have the Atonement of Christ. And that is a beautiful thing.

Rings and Things

I used to have a ring. A pretty ring that I'd wear on my left hand. Not on the ring finger, mind you, but on my middle finger. Nobody gave it to me, or anything. I bought it at J.C. Penney for like 12 bucks. 

At first glance, guys would always think I was wearing that ring on my wedding ring finger. I got tired of people asking, "Oooh, what finger is that ring on?! Who gave it to you? Is he cute?" No. No no. I gave it to myself! Because I saw it in the store and I liked it! So I bought it. Because I could.

I just remembered this ring because I was looking through old pictures and found this one:

See that pretty ring? Well, it's kinda hard to see in this picture. But I used to wear that ring all the time. I guess it could look like a wedding ring, it's nice and shiny and stuff. But you can tell it's pretty cheap if you look up close. Anyway, point of the story is, I loved that ring. But a year ago I thought, "You know, probably as long as I have this ring I'll never get married because guys will just see something shiny on my hand and lose interest." So at an institute activity I fake-proposed to a guy I didn't even know and put my ring on his finger, and wouldn't let him give it back. I'd finally found an opportunity to rid myself of this troublesome thing. I knew if I tried just taking it off and leaving it at home somewhere it would wind up back on my finger. 

I suppose life has been different since I ditched my ring. But I doubt I can attribute any differences to absence of ring. That would've happened anyway. I think.

Why am I telling this story? I don't remember. Sometimes I do weird things. Like Monday night I stayed up on campus 'til 3 in the morning working on a recording project. And another time I took a job as an early-morning custodian when I didn't even really need a job. Whoa, I just made a weird brain thingy. A thought. So, that thing I just said about me taking a custodial job? Well, waking up early is one of my very least-favorite things to do. Like sometimes I think I could commit murder in the mornings. So that's really weird I'd take a job that required me to wake up so early. And then, get this: my other least-favorite thing is talking on the telephone. And what's my current occupation? I work at a call center. A call center! Where I have to make calls. On the phone. Silly me. Why do I do these things to myself?! It's like how I get really bad side aches when I run, but I did Cross Country all 4 years of high school. 

Let's go back to this telephone hatred of mine. It's so much easier just talking to people in person. Or texting. I like texting. But talking on the phone is painful. There's always that awkward delay so you start talking when you think they're not talking, but then they're talking at the same time. Or you can't hear what they say so you have to say, "What?" four times before you finally just pretend like you understood them. I have fun leaving voice messages, though, even if I do usually sound ridiculous in them.


People should just do what they want to. Because they want to. Or do things they don't want to do, but not 'cause someone made them. Just for fun. I mean, sure, I hate waking up early and I hate phone calls, but no one forced me into those jobs. Why feel pressured into not doing things I want to (aka the ring!), and then just choosing on my own to do things I don't want to do (like mornings and phone calls)? Silly Jilli.


I miss my ring.

My Favorite Things About Eternity: A Trilogy. Part Three.

Eternity is incomprehensible to me. It's a pretty big concept to grasp, to make decisions and get through trials with eternity in mind. Every once in a while I have a glimpse into eternity and I'm reminded that things really are bigger than just this life, but that what we do here really is important and that it's not the end. Most of these moments involve my family, which is why I've chosen to write this Eternity Trilogy primarily about them.

Part One was all about my parents, the people who helped me to start out on my wonderful journey into eternity and Part Two introduced you all to my lovely siblings and the families that the older ones have started. I know Kristen has been waiting for Part Three so that you could all hear how wonderful my cousins are. So as to not disappoint her, let me just say right now, Kristen Nelson is one excellent individual. I'm lucky to have an awesome, talented, beautiful, magnanimous cousin like her.

But actually, today's post, the final part of my trilogy, is more about me and the eternity I have ahead of me. One of the teachings of my church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is that families can last forever, that these precious relationships we treasure in life don't end with death. I believe in this wholeheartedly. And this isn't just some side belief of our church, but it's really one of the main reasons we're here. Families are an essential part of God's plan, and they are meant to last for an eternity. Multiple eternities, if there is such thing. 

A few weeks ago my dad was telling me how important it is to marry someone who you can love forever. Because even though our families our eternal, my children will someday have spouses and have their own families, and their children will have spouses, and on and on...I'll be able to go and visit my parents on whatever world they're ruling in the eternities (or however that works), but they won't have their children always living with them because their children and their children's spouses will have their own worlds to rule (or whatever we're going to be doing). When their children (a.k.a. my siblings and I) are all grown up and moved out of the house will my parents be happy together living in a house with just the two of them? Yes, they will, and I know that love and happiness will carry on through eternity.

And this is one of my favorite things about eternity: I get to find someone who loves me, who (whom?) I also love, and be with him forever. 

I remember the millions of bajillions of lists that we'd make in Young Women's, my church group of girls ages 12-17, growing up. Lists composed of all the things we wanted to have in our future eternal companion, all of the qualities our special someone needed to have. The first lists included things like, "cute, tall, intelligent, funny, nice," and then, thrown in at the end, something like, "spiritual," to make it not seem so shallow. As I got older my lists would change, both the lists I'd make in church lessons and my own mental lists. If I went back and sorted through all of my old stuff at home I bet I could find at least four such lists, possibly more. Then we'd have lessons about how instead of trying to find the right person we needed to be the right person. This is true. But it's still fun to look back on those lists, even if the lists were impossibly demanding of any young man we could hope to marry. In fact, maybe that's why they're so fun to look back at.

Anyway, that was a bit of a tangent. A related tangent. Back to now...Eternity is a wonderful gift, even though I don't fully understand it. It hurts my head sometimes to think about it. I'm excited to spend forever with the man that I choose to love forever, whomever (Or is it whoever? I never know which to use.) he may be. I'm excited to always have someone by my side, to always have someone to talk to, to have someone to serve and love. I'm excited to have children who will, of course, be perfect little angels. I'm excited to progress. 

I assume eternity will come sooner than I think. I'm already going to be graduating from college in a year, and school is something I thought would last forever. Not even close. Today in church someone made the comment that eternity isn't just a future thing. It's now. It's in the past. The life we had before coming to earth was part of eternity, my finals I have to take this week are a part of eternity, and everything I'm going to do in my future, the things that come after death, are also a part of eternity. I'm living my eternity right now, with my parents and my siblings and my friends and, maybe someday soon(er or later), my eternal companion. Eternity rocks, and eternal families are the very most rockingest part.

Another cool thing about eternity? Dinosaurs.

Commercial Break

I know I'm way overdue for writing Part 3 of my trilogy, but I feel like writing a post right now! and I don't feel like finishing up my trilogy yet. And it's my blog and blogs are for writing/doing whatever you want to whenever you want to, so that's what I'm going to do! Yeah. So there. So I guess this here is just a commercial break from my Eternity Trilogy (which, you can read parts one and two here and here if you haven't read them yet).

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to do anything at all besides what you're supposed to be doing? Even if the things you're supposed to be doing are somewhat enjoyable, they're made less enjoyable by the fact that you're supposed to be doing them. Sometimes I have so many things I'm supposed to be doing that my mind kinda blocks them out and allows me to facebook or write blog posts or watch an episode of Psych, instead. 

Speaking of Psych, look at this awesome t-shirt I designed that I really, really want:

The shirts, of course, wouldn't have that red dotted line around the pictures. That's just there for when you're designing them online. If I were to get Victoria one it'd look like this, with the same "Whaaat!" back as mine:

Everybody loves Gus. I wish they had the picture of Shawn in the episode where he's a cowboy. Mmmm!

It is so super-duper sunny outside today. I want to go swimming. But I don't have a new swimsuit yet.  I want to get this one from Lime Ricki:

The Hunger Games movie comes out tonight. I so so so so sooooooo want to see it right now! I'm going on Saturday. Whoa. That's in two days! I guess I can wait until then. 49 hours and 20 minutes. Yes, I can wait that long.

I really should do my homework. Here's a list of things I've done today instead of what I'm supposed to be doing:

• facebook
• walking slowly to and from campus, delaying the inevitable (which really isn't all that inevitable because I'm still not doing it)
• sitting in the sun with a boy
• two bowls of ice cream (Rocky Road!)
• nap
• blog post

That's actually not a bad list. And they're all pretty important things. They're just not as urgent as homework, I guess. I did read a book for one of my classes for a while today. And now I'm going to get my financial management assignment done, because I can feel my desire to blog and my procrastination juices draining. 

My Favorite Things About Eternity: A Trilogy. Part Two.

I'm finally writing part two of my Eternity Trilogy! (If you missed part one, here it is.) Today's post is about my lovely siblings, so if you don't have a lot of time on your hands you should probably just not read it right now. Because I have 8 siblings. And 3 sisters-in-law. And 2 nieces. And 1 nephew. And they're all really great. So this blog post could go on forever and ever. It might be the eternal blog post. In which case you'll never get to read it because I'll just be writing it forever. So if you're reading this right now, that means it's not an eternal blog post.

I really think I have the best family. No family is perfect, but my family is perfect for me. I fall right smack dab in the middle of the 9 children, the oldest girl after 4 boys in a row. I love looking back and seeing how my relationship with my family has changed during the process of my growing up. When I was living at home I never did much with my older brothers, except for Daxson the last year or so that he lived at home before he left for college and on a mission and things. It's almost like there are two different families--the four older boys and then my four younger siblings--and I just kind of float around in between the two. It's fun. 

Ever since I moved to Provo after my graduation from high school I've loved getting to know my older brothers. They used to be just my older brothers; I didn't really know them very well. Now they're my friends! I love doing things with them and eating dinner that they make for me and washing laundry for free at their houses. I am super lucky that we all live in the Provo area right now. It'll be sad when we start moving away.

Kyle Alan Hale is my oldest brother, and he's married to the lovely Jennifer Lucy. They live in Orem and I love going to visit them, although it doesn't happen nearly as often anymore as it should. Kyle is one of my songwriting heroes, right up there with Sara Bareilles and Billy Joel. I remember listening to songs he'd write when I was younger, and I was just amazed that he had such a gift and I always wished I could do that. Now that I actually do write my own songs, I love going to Kyle and Jennifer for songwriting tips, and also just to show them stuff I've come up with or things that I'm doing for my music classes. Jennifer is an important part of our family. I feel like the moment we transitioned from being a family to really loving our family and showing that love was when she came into our lives. I'm not saying it was all her, but she's such a bubbly, loving, fun person that you can't help but love her and then want to try and love other people the same way she loves you. Also, she makes really good food.

Jeremiah Thomas Hale is married to Danielle! They just had a beautiful baby girl, Liana Jade. Jerry's the only one of my brothers who ever beats up on me. I guess that makes me pretty lucky, having the possibility of five brothers to beat up on me; it's just unfortunate that Jerry's the strongest of them. But anyway, we'll leave the topic of abusiveness and talk about Jerry's better qualities. Like his wife, Danielle. Danielle has the most angelic voice. We're both music majors, so it's been fun running into her in the HFAC (the fine arts building on campus) the past couple of years, and being able to talk to her about things going on in my life. My niece Liana is a beauty to behold. Even though I've only beheld her once. (Correction: twice! I just went and saw her again tonight, halfway through writing this blog entry.) I just remembered more of Jerry's good qualities: He really loves sports, and I enjoy going to BYU basketball games with him or just watching other sports things on TV. He's also very smart and has things figured out. Also he has a weird/awesome sense of humor and I think he likes having me around because a lot of times I'm the only who'll laugh at his jokes.

Tobin Jack and Trista Nicole Hale have two of the cutest children ever, Kalan Jack (my favorite nephew I've ever had) and Harper Grace (one of the two favorite nieces I've ever had). Tobin and Trista live the closest to me of any of my siblings (except Victoria, who sleeps seven feet away from me every night), and I love being able to go over for dinner or to play games, or to play with Kalan. Trista makes the best chicken nuggets and pulled pork tacos in all of the land. I'm getting hungry just thinking about them. Trista also makes super cutesy, artsy things. Maybe someday I'll be able to be that awesome. Tobin is an amazing pianist. When I was taking piano lessons growing up he always inspired me to want to practice and get better. He can automatically do on the piano what the rest of us have to practice at for hours (and days and weeks) to be able to play. Kalan is awesome and I love it when he gets all hyper and wants to wrestle. I also love Kalan kisses. Harper can't do any of that yet, but she's good at being cute.

Daxson doesn't have any good pictures up on facebook. However, there is this here picture that he made. Because he's awesome. Isn't it wonderful? Daxson is really great. He recently made it into the film major at BYU (I forget what it's called...Media Arts?), and is going to do awesome things. He loves watching movies, and I like getting to watch movies with him. Children are strangely attracted to Daxson. It's weird. Kids just love him. Especially my nephew Kalan. I don't spend nearly enough time with Daxson. Last night I went to his apartment and watched "The Help" and then played Mario Kart and some dumb football game that I lost. Because the only sort of game I can play successfully is Mario Kart. (By successfully I mean that I don't lose every time.) Anyway, that was fun. Oh, speaking of this picture of Daxson's, he made it for a film project he recently finished. Check it out! Okay?

So, right here in the middle is where I belong. 
Moving on...

Victoria Skye is a babe. She is also my roommate. She is single and ready to mingle! She's also going to kill me after she sees that I wrote that. Victoria and I are two years and 3 days apart. Because of this we've always shared the very special bond that can only be gained by repeatedly receiving almost identical (but different-colored) birthday presents every year. She is a freshman at BYU this year, and it's nice having a roommate who is almost as messy as I am so that she can only get kind of mad when my half of the room is dirty instead of really mad. She's really smart and super duper kind to everyone around her. Even people who don't deserve kindness. Also, she's the reason I eat real meals every once in a while. She's a great cook, and she's less lazy than I am, and it's good to have her around. Oh, something else I like is that I can be completely crazy and super weird when I'm around Victoria, and I know that she'll be just as weird or stranger, so it's okay to just let myself get hyper. No judging. 

Why are my sisters so beautiful? Gretchen Ainsley Hale is just the nicest person. She is greatly desired by all the men, and for good reason. She's super smart, completely gorgeous, and she's quite witty. She knows right from wrong, and she makes decisions based on what she knows will make her happy. She's a great little writer. I actually kind of got the idea for this Eternity Trilogy from Gretchen's blog entry where she talks about our family. I think it was her 2nd blog post. Gretchen plays the flute and the piano. She has a fun sense of fashion and gets away with wearing the most unique things. But she always wears things. So that's good. Gretchen is a great older and younger sister. She inspires me to be better and to make good choices because I know she's looking up to me. Also I know that she wants to be looked up to by her younger siblings, and she's paving the way for them. Also if we had the same color of hair and eyes and skin we would look like twins.

Tansy doesn't have facebook yet, so there wasn't a plethora of photos to choose from for her. I found this in one of my albums, though. Tansy Rebecca is also my twin. And we even have the same color of hair and eyes. Except Tansy's hair is more blond. And her eyes are more grey. And she's much better-looking. And a little bit shorter and younger. But other than that, twins! Tansy is so smart and so ambitious. She loves music and she has the voice of a lovely song bird! I love talking to Tansy about boys. She's going to be a heartbreaker when she gets old enough to break hearts. She's in a musical right now (as is Mason), and I'm excited to get to go home and see it in a couple/few weeks. Tansy is very dramatic and likes attention, so I'm sure she will be great for the part she's playing. Also, Tansy's a really good friend to her little brother Mason. I remember when they were both tiny and they loved each other so much. Now they have to pretend like they don't love each other as much, but they're still great friends.

Mason Burke Hale is my favorite little brother. Seriously, he's the best little brother I've ever had, and probably ever will have. He's very perceptive and loves learning all sorts of things. Basically, he has a million brains. Mason really loves me, and I'm glad that he misses me when I'm not with him. When I first moved to college it took like my whole freshman year for him to realize that he missed me when I wasn't home. It feels good to be missed. It feels good to be greeted by someone running towards you yelling "Jiiiilliaaaaaaan!!" and then giving you a tackle hug when you pull up in the driveway late Friday night when you're visiting home for the weekend. I love calling Mason and talking on the phone and hearing how he's doing and what book(s) he's reading and what computer game I interrupted him from playing when I called him. I remember when he was little, Mason and I would have dinosaur fights. He was always a T-Rex and I was a Velociraptor. He knew all about all the different kinds of dinosaurs. Mason is learning how to be a good friend, and he does an excellent job of thinking of those around him. 

And these are some of the wonderful people who make eternity such a wonderful gift! Can you believe I get to be with them for EVER? How did I get to be so lucky? Today in church our Sacrament Meeting talks were all about marriage and eternal families and covenants. Classic singles' ward topics. I'm not married yet, but I do already have the start to a wonderful eternal family. Really, that's the thing that makes the idea of eternity so appealing...I don't ever have to leave the people I love! Right now I'm lucky because more than half of my family lives in the Utah Valley, and the other half is only 3 1/2 hours away in good ol' Oakley, Idaho! Someday in this life, though, we will all move away and be more separated by distance, and it's comforting to know that I will always love them and I will always be able to call them my family. What a blessing!

Not that Daxson will make it this far into this blog post (if he even gets through any of it), but I felt bad that I didn't have a real picture up of him. So here's a picture of Gretchen and Daxson (and Victoria's chin):

And noooow...stay tuned for my blog post next week (hopefully), which will be the part three of my trilogy! Aren't you just so excited to see what else is one of my favorite things about eternity?

My Favorite Things About Eternity: A Trilogy. Part One.

Today is my parents' thirtieth anniversary. They've been married for thirty whole years! So today is a good day to start my three-part blog entry on my very favorite things about eternity! 

My parents are the best parents I could have asked for. Maybe I did ask for them. They do, and have done, so much for me!

So, we'll start with Daddy...Alan K Hale.

I like this picture because my dad and I look so much alike, I think. My dad is a strong person. He's a hard worker. And he loves his family more than anything on this earth...more than money, more than work, more than toys. Even more than himself, I think. If he ever has to make a decision between saving himself a few extra bucks or making his children better off, he'll choose his children. Every time. Not only is he great for his family, but he takes his career seriously and everyone he works with looks up to him. It makes me happy to know that my dad gives his very best at work, too, and that others recognize his greatness. My dad gave me a love for hunting and camping and fishing. He raised me to love BYU football. He gave me his blond hair and blue eyes. I think that one of his greatest qualities is that he teaches by example. He lives the things that he teaches. He's always trying to be better. When I date guys I always compare them to my dad, and to the things I've seen my dad do and the ways he's grown and improved. Whoever I marry will have some big shoes to fill.

Now, on to Mommy. Lynette Burke Hale.

My mom is Supermom. She makes the best homemade bread. Actually, every food that she makes is delicious (except perhaps foods that aren't meant to be delicious...like Cowboy Delight and tuna casserole. And meatloaf. And...you know, all those gross foods). Somehow I think that talent or gift got passed on to me, 'cause I can't seem to make bad food lately. I should cook more. Anyway...back to Mom. She is the best listener I know. She's really good at saying the right things, even when people don't want to hear them. She somehow just knows what to say and is really good at communicating. She loves her children (and three grandchildren) so much! She is always so proud of her children, and unlike most parents, she has a right to think her children are the best, because they really are. My mom is a good example of someone who loves learning and improving. She's attending the community college right now, and getting better grades than I am at my college! She has always supported and encouraged her children to take music lessons and dance lessons and do sports and school clubs and everything they want to do. My mom encourages me to be my best and keep on gettin' better!

My parents are still very much in love. They respect each other. They know each other so well that they're basically pretty much the same person.

I can safely say that my parents are at least 1.8576% of the reason I'm so awesome. Okay, maybe a bit more than that. I'm grateful my parents are so strong and happy. And so darn good-lookin'! 

They are one of my favorite things about eternity...

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Pop! I love you.

(Stay tuned for next week's post about another of my favorites...my siblings!)

Peace I Leave With You

I want to tell you about my Grandpa, Wayne Alma Burke. He's one of the strongest men I've known. When I think of him I just think of firmness, something solid and majestic as the mountains. Tall and quiet and firm. I remember him singing to me, I remember him teaching me to draw pine trees, I remember listening to him for hours as he'd tell some story or explain a concept in great detail. 

Grandpa Burke was an artist and a musician. He played every instrument, I think, but the three that come to mind are trombone, flute, and voice. As you'll see in the picture above, he played the mandolin! At least, I think that's what that is. He brought it to Family Camp one summer and played it for us, and afterwards he showed me how to play it. I don't remember how anymore, though. I remember him giving Victoria and Tobin trombone lessons, and teaching Gretchen things about the flute. He didn't play the oboe like me, but I remember us talking about it and the things he taught me in other areas of music flowed over into my oboe playing.

Grandpa helped enlarge my love for music, and I will always be grateful for that. I'm so blessed to have been given a natural talent that is so inspiring and alleviating and telling. I love that when I perform music, or even when I'm just listening to or practicing music, I can feel Grandpa with me. It's like he's a part of the music.

Click the black box to play song if the video doesn't pop up --^

This isn't a recording of him, but Grandpa Burke once sang this song at a funeral. Probably at other funerals, too, but I just remember one. I think it was my great-grandmother's, his mother's. This is a beautiful song by George Dyer called "In My Father's House Are Many Mansions." I bought it one year ago today when I was thinking of Grandpa. Every time I listen to this song I can hear my grandpa singing it, and whenever I'm going through a difficult time, the lyrics of this song come to me, in my grandfather's voice:

Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you: 

Not as the world giveth, give I unto you.

Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid...

Four years ago today my Grandpa Burke died of cancer. The months of prayer and fasting and hoping leading up to that day were very hard. They also come to me now as serene memories, despite the sadness of losing a loved one. Those times were hard, but filled with peace. They unified my family. They made the love within my family be realized, and grow. It's a miracle that this could have happened, even if it wasn't the miracle we were hoping for.

I can't believe that four years have already passed without him. I love that I have things that remind me of Grandpa. I love that every time someone reads John 14:27 in church I can hear Grandpa's voice singing to me. I love that when I play music I can use techniques that he taught me so that he is a part of my music. I love going to an orchestra concert and feeling connected to my grandfather who loved music so much, as if he's never really too far away. Because, really, he's not. 

That's the legacy that Grandpa Burke left for me. A legacy of peace. A legacy of music. The legacy of the hope and love and comfort that come with that very peace and music that he left for me. I'm grateful today for the man that he was, and that he will always be a part of my life. Forever and ever.

Top 27 Ways to Offend Someone on Facebook

I often seem to say the wrong things on Facebook and even in texts. I think this is because there are a lot of people on Facebook that don't know me and my sense of humor very well. I'll be the first to admit, I am pretty weird. Also, it's hard to put feeling and sarcasm and love and tears into writing/text. Just know that people seem to think a lot more into things I say than I do. Sometimes I just say things. For fun. Or just for whatever. And if I ever seriously have a problem with someone, I don't post about it on Facebook. If I say something that sounds like I'm angry at someone, or trying to solve my problems by making a post rather than actually talking to the person in question, there's a 100% chance I'm just joking. I don't really get mad at people too often (at least not outwardly), except for maybe Victoria, but she's my sister AND my roommate (and, come to think of it, I'm usually not even really mad at her when we're being mad at each other.) That being said, I have compiled a list of things you can do (in jest or in all seriousness) if you're aiming to offend your Facebook friends:

1. Say the word "fat" or "chubby" when referring to any human being, especially a female human being.
2. Make a racist comment or joke. Those are fun.
3. Call Justin Bieber a girl. (This is a serious sin.)
4. State your opinion on someone's clearly-politically-debatable status update.
5. Point out that someone is wrong on their own status update.
6. Tell the family members of a Facebook friend that THEY are wrong on friend's status update.
7. Get into an argument with a Facebook friend after they try defending their stupid family member(s) on their own status update.
8. Belittle or make fun of a profession that is very likely the profession of some of your facebook friends' parent(s). 
9. Post a Michael Bublé song on your brother's wall. Most especially Christmas songs. (I personally would like it if someone were to do this for me, but some people find it offensive. Weird, I know.)
10. Post videos of family members/friends doing hilariously embarrassing dances to equally embarrassing songs.
11. Be funnier in a comment on someone's status than the actual "funny" status was itself.
12. Call someone a whore. (I personally have never tried this one, because it's as rude and unnecessary and derogatory in real life as it is in Facebook life, but I see a lot of drama about this one in some of my more dramatic and unintelligent Facebook friends.)
13. Call your Facebook friends unintelligent.
14. Start a discussion on modesty/guys blaming girls' dress for their dirty thoughts.
15. Swear
16. Denounce your religion and then dare your family/friends to hate you for the choices you've made and the life that you've decided to live.
17. Tell a friend or family member that you love them despite their choices (because obviously they were trying to start an argument, not engender feelings of love).
18. Post pictures of wedding cakes/engagement rings on single friends' walls. (Ha, just kidding, Mom.) 
19. "Like" it when a friend changes from "in a relationship" to "single." (Unless it really was a good thing, and they're happy with it, I guess.)
20. Comment on a friend's frequent changes in relationship statuses. ("Who is it this time?")
21. Use inappropriate language/tell inappropriate jokes. (This usually only offends your mother.)
22. Try to correct someone and end up sounding too much like their mother.
23. Post pictures of random bleeding/mangled body parts. Gross.
24. Make fun of something that someone holds truly dear. Like their hometown. Or home state. Or their state vegetable. 
25. Get offended when people say something offensive in a post. And then tell them how offended you are, and why. In an offensive tone, of course.
26. Unfriend someone. But not before posting a status update about how you're about to go and delete all of the people who aren't very important to you.
27. Post before you think.

I was going to keep going, but realized I was already at 27. So maybe these aren't the TOP top ways of offend facebookly, but they are 27 ways. Feel free to add comments with more methods you have discovered to be effectively offensive.

Baked Potatoes

This may be hard to believe, but there was once a time when I hated baked potatoes. How could I claim to be a true Idahoan and a hater of baked potatoes in the same breath? How did I live with myself?
 
I remember there being a period of my life when I couldn't decide if I even liked potatoes at all. My family would normally have potatoes with our Sunday dinners--boiled, mashed, stuck in stew (and baked)--and I couldn't decide how I felt about them. One week I'd eat a mound of mashed potatoes with a river of gravy, and the next I'd sit with my arms crossed in front of my plate, nose upturned. 
 
"Jillian, why aren't you eating your potatoes?" 
"I don't like potatoes!" 
"But...didn't you just eat them last week?" 
"I don't like them anymore." 
 
The next Sunday I'd be back to eating potatoes.
 
This happened multiple times. Do I know why it happened? No. Do I like analyzing weird things about myself, like why my tastes would change so rapidly from week to week, and then try to turn them into a metaphor of my life to explain my other weird tendencies? No. But some people like to do that. So you can if you want to.
 
I love potatoes now. I'm a potato girl. A true Idahoan. Boiled, mashed, baked, French fried, tater totted, scalloped, cheesy oven-baked, hash browned, stewed...even in the form of potato rolls and potato clocks! (Although I don't eat the clocks.) I love potatoes of all colors and forms. Except sweet potatoes, but those aren't really even potatoes. They're just gross.

Lucky, Blessed, Etc.

"O how great the holiness of our God! For he knoweth all things, and there is not anything save he knows it.
"And he cometh into the world that he may save all men if they will hearken unto his voice; for behold, he suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children, who belong to the family of Adam."
2 Nephi 9:20-21

I really think I am the luckiest girl in the whole wide world. Which means God must be a perfect God and a perfect Father. One of my favorite things about my own parents is that they make me feel like I'm their favorite daughter. Their other three daughters are also their favorite daughters and they have five favorite sons. God is like that, times a million. He has such a special interest in each of our lives and knows each of us so well. Life can get hard and downright rotten, but the outpouring of God's love just seems to get greater and greater! God is forgiving. He has the power to heal. Each of His children is His favorite. 


I have been blessed with a lot. I have talents that are perfect for me. I have the best family in the universe. Fer reals. I'm getting an excellent education and am in the best major on all of BYU campus. I have good friends and people who show trust in me, even when I myself know how weak I am. But even in my weakness I am strong! Because every so often I get a glimpse of where I'm going, of who I will be, and it's a beautiful picture. Jesus Christ suffered for me, and I feel to exclaim as Nephi's brother Jacob, did: "O the wisdom of God, his mercy and grace!" "Oh how great the goodness of our God!" "O how great the plan of our God!" "O how great the holiness of our God!" 


I am the favorite. 

     I'm the luckiest person I know. 

I am blessed.

Love

I like making fun of random people I pass by on campus. It's easy to make fun of people you don't know and who you'll probably never see or think of again. Sometimes I'm accidentally judgmental. Sometimes I'm judgmental on purpose. 
     I have a lot of people who love me. I have a lot of good friends who care about me, but they don't all know me very well. There are some people who know me who don't really like me, I'm sure, and these are the people who know me even less than my not-super-close friends know me.
     I have a few best friends. They know a lot about me that most people don't know. They know that sometimes I can be cranky. They know that I'm not always selfless. They know that I tend to be boy crazy, a little bit lazy, and I'm sometimes a perfectionist. They know a lot of my flaws. But they love me anyway! They love me even more than my not-so-close friends do who only mostly see my good side. 
     My family knows me even better than my best friends do. They've lived with me for most of my life. They've fought with me, they've tried to teach me to share and love and work. They've seen me be overly angry and really sad. They've experienced hard things with me, they've forgiven me for hurting them. They know most of my weaknesses. And even though they know all these things, they still love me! They love me even more than my best friends do! They love me unconditionally. I don't think there's anything I could do to make them not love me. 
     I know myself. I know myself better than any of my friends know me, better than my family knows me. I know that sometimes I fall short of what I'm trying to accomplish. It's easy to be hard on myself. But I still love me! I love the gifts I've been blessed with, I love how my mind works, I love who I am. Despite all my flaws.
     God knows me perfectly. He knows things about me I don't even know. He knows all the things my acquaintances and friends know, He knows all that my family knows about me, He knows what I know, and He knows things about me that I haven't even discovered yet. He knows better than anyone my faults. He knows where I've faltered in the past, and what I'll have problems with in the future. He knows me so completely, and yet He still loves me completely! He loves me more than anyone, ever. His love is perfect for me. 
     I don't understand love. But I have come to better understand that the more you get to know someone, the more you love them. I have friends who, when I first met them, I really didn't think we'd get along. Some of them I didn't know if I wanted to try to get along. But, what always happens is, when I make an effort to get to really know them, I end up loving them! For all a person's imperfections, they still have something about them that makes it impossible to not love them. 
     In the process of getting to truly know someone, you usually get hurt. You learn things that could make you unhappy. But to really know someone you have to make it through these things. And then you love them. And each time you learn something new, each pleasant moment you experience or each battle you fight, you love that someone more and more. 
     I've been told that you can't claim to hate a piece of music until you've completely mastered it and know every part to it. A lot of times people say they hate a piece of music when they first start learning it, simply because they can't play it and it frustrates them. It doesn't sound good at first when you're stumbling to read and find notes. It's easy to just give up on these pieces to learn something easier. But if everyone did this, we'd miss out on a lot of great works! The more time you spend with a piece of music--learning about the composer, studying the form, practicing the notes and expression--the more beautiful it becomes, and you almost feel as if you own it. Maybe you do own it. I dare you to spend time making something beautiful and then try to hate it.
...
Knowledge is power. And power is love.

Eenie Meenie Miney Moe...

...Catch a tiger by the toe! Well, I'm not sure what exactly I'm trying to catch...I do know that I have a lot of choices, though. That's how my whole life seems to be the past few years: me trying to choose between two or three really good options, and then getting so fed up with not knowing what to do that I essentially play Eenie Meenie Miney Moe to decide, and hope that things turn out alright. And they usually do. So I guess it's a pretty good system!

I have a lot of big decisions to make this year. Isn't agency wonderful? Sometimes it can get depressing, not feeling like prayers are being answered in regards to making important choices, and not even knowing what I most want; 'cause if I knew what I wanted, then the choice wouldn't be difficult at all! It's the fact that every time I've had to make an important decision all choices I consider are good ones and are equally appealing that makes it frustrating to have to decide. But then, luckily, every once in a while I'm able to step back just a little bit and think, "Hey! I have multiple good choices in front of me! I must be doing something right." No matter what I choose, I'll be able to learn things and grow and develop relationships and...things will turn out alright!

"Agency used righteously allows light to dispel the darkness and enables us to live with joy and happiness" (http://lds.org/general-conference/2006/04/to-act-for-ourselves-the-gift-and-blessings-of-agency?lang=eng). One thing I want more than anything is to have God trust my decisions and therefore give me guidance when I really need it most. So I should be jumping for joy at the chance to use my agency and prove I'm capable of making good choices! 'Cause then guess what? Light will dispel the darkness and I can live with joy and happiness, knowing that I can make smart decisions and God is watching over me. And, not even just in the big life-changing decisions, but in the little, every-day choices I have to make, I can be doing those small things that will help me feel closer to God and to my family and I'll have the assurance that I'll have help making the big choices.

So, next time you have to make a difficult decision, just remember:

...Hm, I was gonna say something witty right there, but couldn't come up with anything. And I don't want to spell out the moral of the story. So...

Pedro, just listen to your heart. That's what I do.